Tuesday 16th of August 2011

On Broken Wings to Soaring High

I may be a stranger to some of you, or some of you may have wondered where I have been? My name is Jenelle, I am Cristian’s Mommy. I never left, I have always been in “my space” mourning the loss of my son and continuing his legacy in the way I deemed best. I decided that the way I wanted to help people was by becoming a nurse, so that I could be hands on with children like Cristian and families like our own. That is the way I wanted to “pay it forward”, I am currently in college working towards that goal (wish me luck). Every semester when I begin a new course, the professor usually has us write a short bio about who we are, goals, etc. and I always have to re-tell my story of my life with Cristian and how he is my inspiration. I usually get looks of shock, sympathy and pity when I tell our story, and I always tell people it’s ok, don’t feel sorry for me. I will say the same to all of you who are reading this. Don’t feel sorry for us, help us. Help us help other children like Cristian and other families like our own.

John, with the help of many wonderful people as many of you well know, has created this amazing foundation. John has been “paying it forward” for the last three years, and I must congratulate him on all his accomplishments and success.

Something unexplainable happens to families when you are living with a terrible illness as well as the loss of a child. It is sad but common. Grief takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions, and once you are on that ride, reality is blurry at times. I remember sitting in the hospital, unable to control my emotions; thinking that my son had the most dysfunctional family on the planet. The doctors or nurses would reassure me that we were most definitely NOT. Most families go through a wide range of emotions when dealing with grief. According to Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (a world reknown psychiatrist) there are five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I can honestly say I experienced each emotion and I’m sure John would agree.

John and I may not have always seen eye to eye on certain things, we may have hurt each other in the midst of our grief, but we have two very big things in common. We ADORE our son and we want to make sure we put an END TO THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE, so that no child or family has to endure what we have. Sometimes you have to put egos aside, leave the past where it belongs, FORGIVE and start anew.

John has asked me to take my rightful place in our son’s foundation and I proudly accept. Nobody can continue to live Cristian’s legacy better than us, and all of you who loved our son.

“We are like children, who stand in need of masters to enlighten us and direct us; and God has provided for this, by appointing his angels to be our teacher and guides”
-St. Thomas Aquinas

Your prayers and thoughts have lifted us up and carried us in times of despair. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for supporting us from Day 1 and continuing to do so.

Love & Blessings,
Cristian’s Mommy
Jenelle Asencio